Thins first got "interesting"...
Things first got "interesting" for me and Susan a couple of weeks before she officially moved out on 12 April.
Things were so amicable between us, I envisioned a world where she and I would go through everything together and make any decisions generously and magnanimously. Then we would both pack things up and move her into her new house.
I aspired to a relationship where we both had keys to each others house in case of emergency, and we continued to get on well.
Sadly, reality intervened.
She organised relatives to come around and help her move out, and then she...just started packing things up. She just grabbed...whatever. Without telling me what she was grabbing or what she was leaving behind.
I was too caught off guard to say anything. I did my best to just be one of the worker bees and to put things in the cars that were waiting. But I couldn't entirely hide my dis-ease with what was going on. I was doing my best to furtively glance in boxes to see what of our kitchen she was packing up, while at the same time not objecting to anything. I was curious and uncomfortable and more than a little sad to see so many of the trappings of my life for the past 20 years getting taken out the door without me really knowing what was going on.
I did my best to be sporting about it, but apparently my best was not good enough.
I saw that Susan had packed up and taken a book of mine. I mentioned it to her, and she said, "I'm still reading it." So that was fine. It was a thick book that had been on her bedside table for years, long since buried by other books that she was more interested in.
I thought back to when I bought the book in Australia, on my way back from a trip. I did some quick mental math. It was 4.5 years earlier. I tried to make some light hearted comment, "wow, do you remember that trip, I can't believe it was 4.5 years ago already..."
Her sister snarled at me, "KEEP THE BOOK! JUST TAKE IT!!"
I was gobsmacked. I was really quite happy for Susan to hang onto it for as long as she pleased. "No no, it's fine, really!" I said. "I was just thinking back..."
Aside from that, everything seemed to go well enough, from my point of view.
How wrong I was....
Things were so amicable between us, I envisioned a world where she and I would go through everything together and make any decisions generously and magnanimously. Then we would both pack things up and move her into her new house.
I aspired to a relationship where we both had keys to each others house in case of emergency, and we continued to get on well.
Sadly, reality intervened.
She organised relatives to come around and help her move out, and then she...just started packing things up. She just grabbed...whatever. Without telling me what she was grabbing or what she was leaving behind.
I was too caught off guard to say anything. I did my best to just be one of the worker bees and to put things in the cars that were waiting. But I couldn't entirely hide my dis-ease with what was going on. I was doing my best to furtively glance in boxes to see what of our kitchen she was packing up, while at the same time not objecting to anything. I was curious and uncomfortable and more than a little sad to see so many of the trappings of my life for the past 20 years getting taken out the door without me really knowing what was going on.
I did my best to be sporting about it, but apparently my best was not good enough.
I saw that Susan had packed up and taken a book of mine. I mentioned it to her, and she said, "I'm still reading it." So that was fine. It was a thick book that had been on her bedside table for years, long since buried by other books that she was more interested in.
I thought back to when I bought the book in Australia, on my way back from a trip. I did some quick mental math. It was 4.5 years earlier. I tried to make some light hearted comment, "wow, do you remember that trip, I can't believe it was 4.5 years ago already..."
Her sister snarled at me, "KEEP THE BOOK! JUST TAKE IT!!"
I was gobsmacked. I was really quite happy for Susan to hang onto it for as long as she pleased. "No no, it's fine, really!" I said. "I was just thinking back..."
Aside from that, everything seemed to go well enough, from my point of view.
How wrong I was....
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